Hey Parents!  Aren't you tired of crazy people of all breeds and colors teaching your kids how to grow up? (Disclaimer: Tony believes it is actually wonderful that all breeds and colors of people are teaching kids these days, but he also believes people are nuts and they are just spewing vile nonsense at this point.)
 
Wouldn't you like to raise a household with a dog and let the dog teach your kid.  Bypass all that human craziness and get a real dog.  If you have one already, maybe invest in this additional action figure designed by Tony from the Modern Dog NJ.  He has a whole backstory on Modern Dog Alpha and you can tell your kids about Modern Dog Alpha and why Tony created him to save Earth and defend the future inhabitants of the Moon!